Why I Should Be The Next President of The United States of America

There's a lot of political unrest these days (mostly on facebook) about what's going to happen this November in the Presidential Election in regards to our healthcare, marriage laws and foreign policy. I know you're having a very difficult time decided between the red crap or the blue crap so I decided I would gallantly come to your rescue.

Personally, I think I would be a slamming President. I've got a degree from a school that's VERY difficult to get into, I smile a lot when I lie to people and I didn't get above a 1200 on my SATs. Aren't those all prerequisites?

So, here are 5 very good reasons why you should screw the other guys and vote for me instead. You can thank me later.

1. I would bring home all the troops serving overseas and basically everywhere besides America and start keeping our nose out of other people's business. You want your country to go down in flames? Great! Hope that works out for you. Our new foreign policy would include me not speaking to other countries for weeks (so they know I'm mad at them) and selling that peace rug they sent us to buy my Cabinet new Gucci Slingbacks.

2. My Secret Service Team would be a mix from the cast of Magic Mike and 300 and the new uniform would be an American flag Speedo so the country knows I'm very patriotic. And don't even tell me you wouldn't love to see Channing Tatum in a speedo holding the Presidential Purse.

3.In addition to casual Fridays in the workplace, I will implement Topless Tuesdays which will apply to corporate offices, food stores, department stores, boutiques and restaurants. This law will simultaneously reinvigorate the failing economy and give our senior citizens something to look forward to besides Veterans Day and death. Another small  (but no less important) clause to this amendment will be that women over the age of 13 will not legally be allowed to leave their house without a bra on. It's for your own good, America.

4. Under my term as President all American Citizens will be created equal in the eyes of the law. All straight, gay, black, white, Asian, Indian, Spanish, tall, short, skinny and fat. EVERYONE will have the right to get married, get divorced, buy a house and have a job. Sorry guys, there's nothing funny about this one, it's just common sense.

5. And lastly (and perhaps most important!) I will make the pantsuit illegal! Dress code for the new President will be comprised of skinny jeans, blousy tops, stilettos, and fancy Chanel jackets (plus yoga pants for when I'm tired and cranky). If you see anyone in a pantsuit you reserve the right to bear arms against them and/or throw a tomato at their butt.You're welcome, America.

Okay so maybe my ideas are a little far fetched, but at least I've got a solid and truthful campaign, which seems to be a more stable platform than what the other guys are standing on. I think Amendment number 2 will at least fetch me a VP Spot. :)

Don't forget to vote! Jennie K Hurd, Novemeber 2012.
'Merica!

Love

I am sorry I haven’t written in a while. When the disaster of tragedy slams into you with such force, it’s like nothing looks or feels or tastes right. I feel like everything about me dissolved into ashes. The way I thought, the person I am, what I liked and how I acted…and now that I’m here nearly a year after it all I can see the change I underwent to transform myself into a better person, subconsciously maybe. Healing after loss is not the flitting passing of words, or empty promises from friends of how it’ll all be okay but more the stark truth of looking at yourself in the mirror every morning after having survived another night. I am not as eloquent with words when speaking of my problems- in fact I don’t, which ends me up in a mess deeper than the original problem. So I took my own time to learn how to speak, to be brave in the darkness and put more than tears to these empty, awful, unending feelings. And it took time. And it will take even more time. But at least now I know that there could be no light without darkness and in the end some of these awful things make the lights in our lives burn brighter. 

For this post I won’t give in the consistent calling, the internal struggle to tell you so much about how I feel terrible most days. That begging to vocalize the darkness. I’m going to tell you instead about love, which we all need a little more of, and someone who strongly, silently stood behind me when I thought I was standing alone. Though words cannot begin to describe the intensity of the last few months, or how I feel, there must be something said for the man who kept vigil, watching me and doing everything in his power to protect me. Philip Jason, thank you for being who you are. I love you dearly, and this one’s for you.

Most of you probably know Philip Jason. If not, you’re going to get a little insight on the man. Please, hold your applause. :) 

 

Although blessed with the sort of inner beauty few people are born with, I’m pretty fond of your outer beauty too…and since we all know how much you love attention,(jk…sort of)  I thought everyone else should know too. 

For everyone else: Philip Jason (yes I always call him by his full name, if not the sort of pet names that irritate our friends, and then Phil only when he’s in trouble) is just over 6 feet tall, lean perhaps to the point of skinny, with denim blue eyes that light up when he’s smiling and blond eyelashes and eyebrows. Although of Latin descent (which no one believes), his skin is a creamy alabaster not exactly prone to sun-tanning. He might’ve been a vampire in a past life. His hair has gone from brown to gold in the summer sun which has also painted a lovely smattering of freckles on his broad shoulders. Unexplainably, his moustache and goatee glint red and auburn. Of the many men I have known, he is by far the most beautiful.

For Philip Jason: This October will be the 9^th year you and I have been together. 9 crazy, exciting, roller coaster, explosive years that have seen so much loss, love, sorrow and joy I’d need several computers to catalogue it all. We ourselves have had our own ups and downs, but now that we’ve come to this unexpected crossroad I can say without fear or doubt that you really are the most amazing man I’ve ever known and something unexplainable will eternally link me to you, wherever this life takes me. Your bravery is more pronounced than anyone gives you credit for. Your kindness towards me and others is emotionally overwhelming and I know I can always depend on your humor to lift me when I’m feeling down or scared. I think Winnie the Pooh said it best, “If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you”. Fairy tale bears tell wise tales.

I wish I could explain with more finesse the depths of what I know of as love. Maybe it’s not how you see love, or the way you respond to others, but we all in this tiny world must share some sort of feeling of awe when we look into someone else’s eyes and it makes us want to be better people. Is there nothing more surprising and spectacular than that overwhelming sensation to move mountains and change history for someone else? From a simple look? For me, it is truth and honesty in its purest form. That I choose to stand out in the open of this turbulent war field, with the wreckage of so many before us, hand clasped with the one person I know feels poignantly brave, simply from my presence. At the risk of sounding ridiculous, it’s almost as if the shells fly past us, the smoke but warms our skin and while the rest of the lost world is scrambling to find purchase, we are able to turn to one another and smile because in this desolate landscape we both know we’ve already had our victory. Love isn’t the glitter of fairy tale books or the made up magic of Hollywood, but more the raw and terrifying truth that everything you are is inside someone else.

If you, like me, have had the joyous experience to literally grow up with the person you love, I’m sure you can relate to what I’m trying to say. I don’t find fault with my friends and relatives who chose to be single in those years of summer boys and high school, dating around, trying out different guys and coming home to tell me after numerous dates that I was being naïve to think true love had found me at 17. Maybe, to them, I was. But I think when you’re young you are naïve about everything in life, and so looking back I’m glad I had the chance to learn those truths, both comforting and terrifying, at Philip Jason’s side, who being both older and perhaps wiser (sometimes ;)) had enough strength and patience to help me learn. After nine years we are still eager to learn and love is what brought us here. 

I can’t pin point the time or date, or tell you exactly what happened, and I’m sure so many people don’t believe in “love at first sight” but there must be something said about those early years and the first time we met. A party. With all our friends and lots of alcohol… Of course in my mind, it’s now a movie set, where the lights are dimmed and the edges fade out, and all I can really remember is when he walked into the room something inside me lit up while everything else simultaneously fell away. Something in me just felt right when he was there…it sounds monumentally cheesy in written description but in truth it was simple, and pure and young. When my friends said summer flings happen, true love won’t last and many men will be vying for my attention I smiled knowingly at them and turned to Philip Jason. In retrospect, it seems like much of that part of life was an inconsistent explosion of where to run to next…a desperate survival tactic to remain normal. How could I not have clung to the one amazingly reliable thing I knew? How could I believe there was something better than his whispers of love in the darkness, the way he held me when I was scared, the smile on his lovely sleeping face? How could there possibly be anything more awe inspiring than his throaty laugh, the nape of his neck and his voice like tinted glass? There simply wasn’t and while everyone was telling me their version of truth, I knew inside I was already aware. I think young love, though naïve, when it grows becomes unbreakable. 

After the unbelievable amount of time, and dedication and love and sorrow and excitement, we are still here, darling, stronger, smarter and closer than ever. So let our friends make fun of our pet names, let them tell us all good things must come to an end and let those who don’t understand be, for we know it’s only because they’ve never known a  love like ours. I will love you unconditionally, faithfully and honestly until my dying day. Until forever…always and forever.